Calibrating Engagement Metrics...
Welcome, Valued Asset EMP_4815162342. Your URGENT TASKS are listed on the left. Select one to demonstrate immediate compliance.
Remember: Free virtual pizza on Fridays is contingent on meeting weekly engagement quotas with your lovely corporation.
// CORP_MEMO_#0815
> Reminder: "We Are Family" team-building exercise in Holo-Deck 3 (hosted by your lovely corporation). Attendance is... strongly encouraged for optimal synergy.> DRESS_CODE:
Business_Casual_Cybernetics_Optional// KITCHEN_NOTICE_OMEGA_7
> Free "Pizza" (Soylent Green Pepperoniβ’ by your lovely corporation) available! "Embrace the future of sustenance, for the good of the collective!"> ALLERGEN_WARNING:
May_Contain_Recycled_Data_Processors